MUMBAI: Netflix, the streaming behemoth that enjoys reminding us all that it was first to the party, has revealed its subscribers collectively frittered away a staggering 94 billion hours watching content between July and December 2024. One can only imagine how many unwritten novels, unlearned languages, and unvisited gymnasiums those hours represent.
The company, displaying its customary selective transparency, proudly announced that the comedy caper Carry On topped its film charts with 137 million views. Curiously, Netflix neglected to convert this figure into actual viewing hours—perhaps calculating the true extent of global procrastination proved too depressing even for its data analysts.
Union (131 million views) and Rebel Ridge (129 million) followed closely behind, with Beverly Hills Cop (97 million) and Our Little Secret (81 million) rounding out the top five films that kept humanity from more productive pursuits.
On the series front, to absolutely nobody's surprise, Squid Game continued its cultural stranglehold with its second season amassing 87 million views. The Perfect Couple (which, ironically, describes Netflix's relationship with its audience's leisure time) secured 75 million views, while Monsters: The Lyle and Erik Menendez Story drew in 70 million viewers with its cheery subject matter.
Meanwhile, Emily in Paris continues to defy both critics and cultural cringe in its fourth season, with 58 million views suggesting that viewers simply cannot get enough of watching an implausibly employed American navigate the treacherous waters of croissants and couture. Nobody Wants This completed the top five with 57 million views—a title that clearly doesn't apply to the show itself.
The streaming giant's announcement serves as both a flex of its market dominance and a gentle reminder that we're all spending far too much time staring at screens. Nonetheless, with numbers like these, Netflix executives are likely too busy counting their subscribers to worry about counting sheep at night.
(While like millions of others globally, we too are fans of Netflix and probably contributed a few thousand hours to Netflix's 94 billion hours, we decided to write this piece in a fun, almost irreverent manner, just like the content Netflix offers. Cheers!)
